Oh

My

Fucking

God.

That is by far the longest string of texts I have ever got. 

How do I meet the crazy ones so often. Please. Tell me why.

lusteens:

p0kemina:

I’m having an asthma attack omg this is perfect

one of the few things on tumblr I genuinely find hilarious

LMFAOOOOO

(Source: geekscoutcookies, via imtonithingz)

spykids5:

im having an out of body experience

O M G

(Source: dormtainment, via imtonithingz)

Im going to NYC the week of June 2nd. Who am I going to see there?

roberteugenebradley:

bestrooftalkever:

coolstoryrob:

meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeerlin:

serionsly:

voyagevisuelle:

This a Moonmelon, scientifically knows as asidus. This fruit grows in some parts of Japan, and is known for its vibrant blue color. What you probably don’t know about this fruit is that it can switch flavors after you eat it. Everything sour will taste sweet, everything salty will taste bitter, and it gives water a strong orange-like taste. It’s also very expensive…costing about ￥16000 JPY (which is about 200 dollars).

or you know this could be photoshopped

but idk

you tell me

this is alexandrias melon (wow)

it never grows seeds but it can still produce other melons (its magic)

it is grown deep in the jungles of peru and can prevent you from aging well into the hundreds

it is known by the natives there as k’uhul ajaw cacao shi-jiiy.

its really strange how all of these pictures look exactly the same because everything on the internet is true

This is the Peppermeloni. (seriously gosh just look at that sexy mother fucker) Its scientific name is Tumblrous Pepperonus.

The only known specimen is in a pot in David Karps treasure dungeon. It is a tradition that a single slice is given to every tumblr blog that reaches 500,000 followers.

It has the remarkable property of being as healthy as watermelon but tasting like cheesy pepperoni pizza.

This planet is really just so amazing guys wow.

Patrickmelon

The taste of this melon will always surprise you.

Today has been great.  We can all go to bed, the day is finished.

(Source: tumblr.com, via heatherbelly)

Ya’ll probably do squats to have nice butts and quads

I do squats to put your girl on my shoulders

My attempt at headstands

(Source: ennjey)

afrogrrrlxvx:

Omg

The meow one had me cryinnnnnn

(Source: iraffiruse, via reckkless-abandon)

youngheartoldmind:

diamond-fresh:

sueheartsyou:

WITCHCRAFT

He’s a fucking superhuman lol

(via lotsaspams)

HE JUST FUCKING LAYS THERE

(via abbieabbiecakes)

one time I liked my own photo just to get double digits for likes

the-midnight-rambler:

angwomon:

FUCK YOU BRIAN

 you piece of shit. do you want to go back to jail?

I DIDNT MEAN TO HAVE YOU

omg 

(Source: comedycentral, via amessof-gorgeouss-chaoss-deacti)

obviously thrilled to be at the library studying at 1am…

tyleroakley:

How sweet the sound.

HAHAHAHAHAHH

(Source: prom-night-dumpster-baby, via imsofitt)